The Times
The ‘review of the week’ award goes to Tim Hayward, who was in coruscating form following his trip to this “small modern Filipino restaurant” in Kingly Court, at the “joyless heart” of the so-called ‘Carnaby Quarter’ – an area he likened to “a ride in a Soviet theme park, designed to convey the vacuity and decadence of western youth. It can only apparently be appreciated in mobs of 40, clad in identical puffa jackets, sharing
two vapes and a litre vat of bubble tea.”
Tim also emptied both barrels on the “challenging” acoustics inside Donia, where he found “a cruel and unusual battering” of random foodie conversations” that was like “living inside Gregg Wallace’s head”.
When he switched his attention to what he actually ate, though, Tim was all
enthusiasm for cooking that was “fantastic, new to me and a delightful revelation”.
Top of his list was adobo, a national dish of the Philippines – usually a stew of meat, poultry, fish or vegetables braised in vinegar and soy – here is served in the form of crisp fried mushroom croquetas. “They were extraordinary, prompting me to reassess my life goals radically in favour of spending more time eating adobo.”
Another Filipino classic, lechón or suckling pig, “provoked moans of joy at the table, but it was as nothing beside The Astonishing Sauce…. If you can imagine all the things you love about chicken liver parfait that elevate it beyond school-dinner liver. That. Poured over pig.”
Not to be outdone, the fresh grilled half lobster provoked another extravagant metaphor: “Imagine two alien xenomorphs wrestling naked in a drench of delicately fragranced coconut curry sauce. Lots of ferociously dangerous bits but strangely erotic.”
