La Collina NW1

This Italian newcomer in Primrose Hill has been widely hailed in the press as North London’s hottest new dining destination. So we rolled up to it in a state of high anticipation. As we drew nearer, the reassuring hubbub of happy voices sharpened our expectations still further (as did the fact that it was packed to the rafters with merry locals).

We had even landed a table in the cute, if ramshackle, garden and – buoyed by festive spirits – ordered some champagne. But it was here the first niggles begin to intrude on this Utopian vision. The champagne was almost as warm as the evening. The evening was yet young, however. Surely the food would make everything worthwhile?

As it turned out, however, the food was boring, boring, boring. In fact, there was only one exception to this inexorable rule: Mrs Harden’s lamb was a good piece of meat, carefully cooked. Everything else, however – bread, olives, measly asparagus, mushy and almost tasteless crab salad, boring liver, turgid mash, the pudding (which came recommended but which we now can’t even remember what it was), watery house wine, and ordinary coffee – was distinguished by an unnervingly consistent degree of dullness.

So take your pick from the following options. 1) Only City AM tells it how it is, and all other papers are either undiscerning, wrong-headed or taking back-handers. 2) We were just unlucky. 3) The combination of great early success and a small kitchen can lead to erratic medium-term performance. We’d guess there’s probably more to the last explanation than any of the others. And if you do decide to run with the crowd the prices here are undoubtedly very reasonable.