A week of restaurant reviews in the national papers.
Pétrus
The Telegraph, Zoe Williams (Rating:6.5/10)
The critic visits Gordon Ramsay’s new Belgravia outfit, and finds the “smell of luxury… considerably stronger, than the smell of any of the food… [which] I'm afraid to say, thrilled me less”. The food, she find, is “Gordon Ramsay, but in name only”. (The obvious question this statement begs – where is it not ‘in name only’? – is sadly neither posed nor answered.)
Koya
The Times, Giles Coren (Rating:8.67/10)
Almost an an afterthought to a diatribe against food photography in restaurants, the critic reviews a new(ish) Sohonoodle bar which the blogs had described as “cheap, authentic and brilliant”. “And they were right, it is.”
Cambio de Tercio
The Telegraph, Matthew Norman (Rating:10/10)
We’ve always had a bit of a suspicion that Mr Norman sees the world only in black and white, not shades of gray, and this barnstoming early-Telegraph-days review of a South Kensington Spanish restaurant of long standing tends to confirm this impression. “‘I can honestly say,’ declared my friend over coffee, ‘that I’ve never had a better lunch in this country.’ Nor have I, and in a bold stab at originality let me state this: you simply have to go.” (Well yes it is a good restaurant… but that good?)
Roux at Parliament Square
The critic perfectly captures the décor of this new Westminster establishment, finidng the dining rooms “an orgy of beige [as if] someone has been invited to go crazy with a John Lewis charge card. I can't believe the people responsible for this place stayed awake long enough over the visuals to approve them.” “Against this background, the food was always going to have to work very hard to take off, and it never quite manages it”, even if it is “all professional [and] well executed”.
The Old Brewery, Old Royal Naval College
The Independent, Tracey MacLeod (Food 3/5, Ambience 4/5, Service 4/5)
“The fish may come from Billingsgate Market these days, but the traditional Greenwich whitebait dinner is enjoying a revival, thanks to an appealing new venture from local brewers Meantime”, the critic tell us. The site of this meal is “an impressive chunk of riverfront real estate”, which only the Wapping Project, “housed in a converted power station a couple of miles upriver, can rival the room for sheer wow factor”. And the food is never less than “decent”. “Whether you're a jaded Londoner, or a tourist planning a river trip, I can't think of many better options than dinner at the Old Brewery.”
The Mulberry Tree, Boughton Monchelsea
The Guardian, Sam Wollaston (Rating:5/10)
The critic visits an establishment swathed in “awards, accolades and certificates of excellence”. He finds the food “[q]uite good” too. Well, “[s]ome of it”.
(Are the views of someone with such a poor grasp of grammar be trusted, though? He says he “may have had” a particular dish had it been available. As it was clearly not available, though, he can only mean he “might have had” it, had it been available. When did some people in the media suddenly decide to abolish the essential distinction between “may” and “might”? That way nonsense lies. But the Times, the BBC and now the Guardian have all started doing it. It is quite inexplicable.)
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